What Does a Phobia Feel Like?
Phobias typically trigger an immediate anxiety response. For some, it’s a racing heart, shortness of breath, or dizziness. For others, it’s a frozen, paralyzed feeling. Emotionally, it can bring shame or frustration—especially when the person knows their fear isn’t “logical” but still feels powerless to control it.
This disconnect between logic and emotion is important. Telling someone with a phobia to “calm down” or “face your fear” does not work—because the fear is not coming from the rational part of the brain. It’s a conditioned emotional response.
How Therapy Helps
Therapy for phobias is incredibly effective and often life-changing. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a predominant form of therapy for phobias. It focuses on identifying and challenging the thoughts that maintain the fear, while also using gradual exposure to desensitize the individual to the phobic stimulus.
Another form of treatment, is Exposure and Response Therapy (ERT). ERT does not mean throwing someone into their fear all at once. It’s a careful, collaborative process—what we call a hierarchy of fear—where the person builds tolerance step by step. For example, someone afraid of flying might start by looking at photos of airplanes, then watching videos, visiting an airport, and eventually taking a short flight.
Other therapeutic techniques might include mindfulness, relaxation training, and in some cases, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), especially if the phobia is rooted in trauma.
You Are Not Your Fear
If you live with a phobia, please know this: you are not alone, and there is nothing “weak” or “broken” about you. Your brain is simply doing its best to protect you—just in a way that’s no longer helpful.
Phobias are treatable. With the right support, tools, and compassion, you can reclaim the parts of your life that the phobia(s) has tried to take from you.
And perhaps most importantly: you don’t have to face it alone.
If you or someone you love struggles with a phobia, consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional. Healing starts with one brave step.
Liza Linder, MSW, LCSW, is a therapist with 30 years of experience serving the LGBTQ+ and PLWHIV communities. Liza is in person only, in our Philadelphia offices. For more information about Liza, please click on the therapist’s bios.