Couples Therapy

Couples therapy sometimes called couples counseling can help couples through a variety of issues. Oftentimes, couples reach out to therapists for “communication issues”.  While sometimes this is truly about miscommunication, it is often code for other issues.  These issues can include feelings of being unloved, co-parenting struggles, and intimacy concerns.  

Couples intimacy issues can include:

  • Not feeling understood by a partner
  • Lack of desire for one or both partners to engage in intimacy 
  • Processing different levels of desire
  • Moving away from goal orientated sex
  • Managing feelings following an affair
  • Deciding to open a monogamous relationship
  • Discerning the difference between being open monogamish, or polyam
  • Breaking of agreements for those in open or poly relationships
  • Sexual dysfunctions, such as inability to maintain and/or achieve an erection or pain during intercourse
  • Managing differences in likes and dislikes when in comes to sexual intimacy

Couples therapy can also help with other areas outside of intimacy issues, this can include: 

  • Co-parenting challenges
  • Differences in family values
  • Differences in religious views/practices
  • Differences in engaging with extended family
  • Processing past trauma as it relates to couple engagement
  • Coming to agreements on managing finances

The cornerstone of couples work is effective communication.  Couples therapy often works on helping parties in the relationship work to understand the other person(s)’ point of view.  It can also work to help individuals in the relationship better understand themselves and their role in their relationship.  It can help unravel how different lived experiences from our family, society (societal messages), and the communities we come from, and live in, impact our engagement in our relationship(s). While most sessions are held with all members of the couple involved, sometimes individuals with each party involved may take place in order to better understand each persons’ perspective and history.   Having individual sessions can also be useful when couples are particularly in high conflict, therefore individual work is sometimes needed to help with emotional regulation skills before effective couples therapy can be applied.