Going Through A Breakup/Divorce: Ways to Cope

Consider these ways to cope if you are struggling with the ending of a relationship.

Most folks will go through at least one breakup with a romantic partner, at some point in their lives. Most folks go through many breakups throughout their lifetime. In most cases a breakup is a very difficult thing to go through. It may surprise you to know that even when you’re the one who’s doing the breaking up, it’s can still be incredibly difficult. In fact, even when the relationship is abusive it can still be a cause for grief, much like any divorce or breakup.

I always tell my clients that a breakup/divorce has to be mourned. It needs to be morned like a death. Because in reality, that’s what a breakup is. It’s the death of a dream you had for you and your ex. Grief and loss are incredibly painful feelings and you absolutely need to allow yourself time to grieve and time to heal. As you are grieving, much like a death, there is no set time to grieve for. Everyone is different and will grieve differently.

Here are some different ways I’ve seen folks grieve a breakup:
1) Writing an “unsent” letter to your former partner, that you will never actually send. But where you can get out your pain, sadness, anger, and regrets.
2) Writing your former partner’s name down, placing it in a balloon, and releasing it.
3) Learn the stages of grief, but remember they are not linear, they are actually cyclical. You’ll most likely cycle through all of them a number of times before you reach true acceptance. Read more about the stages of grief here. https://grief.com/images/pdf/5 Stages of Grief.pdf
4) Seek therapy if you find you either need help grieving, support grieving, or if you’re finding it difficult to begin the grieving process, or if you’ve been grieving for what you think is too long, and feel stuck in your grief.
5) Remember that you have loved. And that you will love again. You absolutely will get over your ex. I can’t promise you how long it will take, but I can promise you that it will happen.

This blog post was written by Liza Linder, LCSW. To find out more about Liza, please see click on her name.