As a therapist, I often tell clients, “You’re not too much—you’re just made up of a lot.” Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy takes this to heart. It’s a compassionate, evidence-based approach that sees each person as having many different “parts” inside—like an inner family—with each one holding its own feelings, memories, and roles.
The Big Idea Behind IFS
IFS, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, works from the belief that all parts of you are valuable—even the ones that might feel destructive, overwhelming, or stuck. Rather than trying to get rid of a part, IFS invites us to get curious about it, understand its role, and ultimately help it heal.
At the core of this model is what’s called the Self—your wise, compassionate, centered core that can lead your inner system with clarity and kindness. Even when life feels chaotic, your Self is still there, ready to guide.
The Three Types of Parts
IFS describes three broad categories of parts:
Exiles – These carry old pain, shame, fear, or trauma. They’re often hidden away because they feel too vulnerable or overwhelming.
Managers – These try to keep life under control to prevent the Exiles’ pain from surfacing. Think perfectionism, people-pleasing, or high achievement.
Firefighters – These jump in when the Exiles’ pain bursts through, often using quick or extreme coping strategies (like binge eating, substance use, or angry outbursts) to numb the hurt.
All of these parts are trying to help in their own way, even if their methods aren’t working anymore.
In our next Blog Post, we will examine what an actual session of IFS Therapy looks like, as well as why it’s such a popular approach to therapy.
Liza Linder, MSW, LCSW, is a therapist with 30 years of experience serving the LGBTQ+ and PLWHIV communities. Liza is in person only, in our Philadelphia offices. For more information about Liza, please click on the therapist’s bios.