Dear Liza,
I am writing to you, because I’m concerned about the future of my relationship. I am beginning law school at Villanova in a week. My partner of three years was also supposed to attend Villanova law school with me. However, he was only accepted at Boston University law school. This obviously means we will be living in two different cities for three years. Although I know we have a very strong relationship, I’m concerned about switching to a long distance relationship. All of my friends are saying they never works out, and that we should just end our relationship now. I guess my question is, can a long distance relationship survive?
Signed,
Concerned
Dear Concerned,
I do absolutely understand your concern. This is definitely a difficult situation for you and your partner. The answer to your question, is not a yes or no answer. It honestly depends on both of the people in the relationship. Some folks just can’t or do not want a long distance relationship. Then, there are happily married couples, who live on separate continents. There are also couples that live sort of a happy medium, wherein they live in separate apartments close by the other.
You and your partner should each think about what the next three years could look like. As well as how you would both like those three years to look. The good news is, obviously with advances in technology, long distance is not quite so long anymore. You and your partner can talk, text, FaceTime, etc. You should have several discussions about how to make these three years easier for both of you.
I have seen many a long distance relationship not only survive, but thrive. I believe you should both go into this with finding ways of feeling closer to each other, while being geographically far apart.
Take Care,
Liza, LCSW
Liza Linder, MSW, LCSW, is a therapist with 30 years of experience serving the LGBTQ+ and PLWHIV communities. Liza is in person only, in our Philadelphia offices. For more information about Liza, please click on the therapist’s bios.